Your custody hearing is tomorrow, and your mind is probably racing through everything that could go wrong. The best cure for that feeling is a list. This custody hearing checklist walks you through the last 24 hours: what to confirm, what to print, what to pack, what to leave at home, and how to spend the morning so you walk in steady.
Work through it in order tonight, check things off, and then stop. Cramming at 2 a.m. rarely helps. A rested, organized parent with a clear one-page summary is in a much better position than an exhausted one who tried to memorize every document.
What should you confirm 24 hours before a custody hearing?
Confirm the basics directly with the court, not from memory. Dates, times and courtrooms change more often than people expect.
- The date, start time and courtroom or department number, from your hearing notice and the court’s online case portal if it has one
- Whether the hearing is in person, virtual or hybrid (if it’s remote, see our virtual court hearing tips)
- Whether any documents, exhibits or witness lists had to be filed or exchanged before the hearing, and that yours were
- That each witness knows the time and place, and has a copy of any subpoena you served
- Childcare for the whole day, since hearings often run long or start late
- Time off work, with a buffer in case the hearing runs past lunch
- The clerk’s phone number, saved in your phone and written on paper
Which documents should you print and organize?
Bring every court paper in your case plus your exhibits, organized so you can find any page in seconds. A common practice is three matching sets of exhibits: one for the judge, one for the other parent or their lawyer, and one for you. Some courts want more, and some require exhibits to be submitted in advance, so check your local rules.
Court papers
- Your current custody order, if there is one, and any temporary orders
- The petition or motion that set this hearing, plus any response
- Proof of service showing the other parent was notified
- Any reports already filed, such as from a guardian ad litem or evaluator
- A financial affidavit and recent pay stubs, if support is also being decided
- A proposed parenting plan or proposed order, if your court uses them
Exhibits
- Each exhibit marked with its number, consistent across every set (our guide on how to label and number exhibits walks through it)
- An exhibit list with the number, a short description and the date of each item
- Each exhibit clipped separately so the judge can handle one at a time
- Your own set in a binder with tabs and room for notes
If your evidence and timeline already live in a tool like Case Builder, export a fresh PDF of your timeline tonight so the printed version matches your latest notes.
What should you pack in your court bag?
Pack tonight so the morning is grab-and-go. Put the bag by the door when you’re done.
- Government-issued photo ID
- Your case number written on paper, in case your phone dies
- Your binder and the extra sets of exhibits
- Two pens, a notepad and sticky flags
- Your one-page summary (see the template below)
- Phone and charger, silenced once you’re inside
- Water and a snack to have in the hallway during breaks
- Any medication you might need during a long day
- A card or cash for parking
- Reading glasses, tissues and a layer in case the courtroom is cold
What should you leave at home?
Leave anything that won’t pass security or might distract from your case. Many courthouses screen visitors much like an airport does, and some items can be confiscated or get you turned away at the door.
- Weapons of any kind, including pocketknives, multitools and pepper spray. Some courthouses also bar scissors and similar sharp items.
- Your children, unless the court has specifically told you to bring them.
- Plans to record. Many courts prohibit recording or photographing in the courthouse without permission.
- Anyone likely to react. A calm support person is fine. A relative who will sigh loudly during testimony is not.
- Food, gum and drinks in the courtroom itself, unless the court allows them.
How do you prepare what you’ll say?
Write a one-page summary you can glance at under pressure. It isn’t a script; it’s a map. Family court calendars are often crowded, so being able to state your position briefly matters.
Template: one-page hearing summary
What I’m asking for: [One or two sentences describing the schedule or order you’re requesting.]
Point 1: [The fact that matters most for your child.] Exhibits: [numbers]
Point 2: [Second fact.] Exhibits: [numbers]
Point 3: [Third fact.] Exhibits: [numbers]
If they say: [the claim you expect] I can show: [the exhibit or fact that answers it]
Witnesses: [Names, and what each one saw firsthand.]
If you’ll be giving an opening statement, keep it short and build it from this page. Our guide to giving an opening statement at a custody hearing covers the structure. Practice it out loud once or twice tonight, then put it away.
What should you do the morning of the hearing?
- Eat and drink some water. Even if you’re nervous, a light meal keeps your focus steady through a long wait.
- Put on the clothes you laid out. Clean, simple and comfortable. Our guide on what to wear to custody court has specifics.
- Do a final bag check against this list, including your ID and every exhibit set.
- Leave early. Aim to arrive 45 to 60 minutes before the start time, to allow for traffic, parking, security lines and finding the courtroom.
- Check in. If that’s the local practice, let the clerk or bailiff know you’re present and confirm your case is on the calendar.
- Settle in quietly. Silence your phone, sit where you’re directed, and review your one-page summary, not the whole binder.
What if you run into the other parent at the courthouse?
Plan for it, because it’s likely. You may share a hallway, an elevator or a waiting bench for an hour or more before your case is called. Deciding tonight how you’ll handle it keeps you from being pulled into a conversation you regret.
- Keep it brief and polite. A nod or “Good morning” is enough. You don’t need to make small talk.
- Don’t negotiate in the hallway unless you want to and feel safe doing so. If they raise the case, you can say, “I’d rather we let the judge handle it today.”
- Sit somewhere else. There’s no rule that you have to wait side by side.
- Don’t react to comments from them or their family. Courthouse hallways have plenty of witnesses, and court staff notice who stays calm.
If there’s a protective order between you, or you feel unsafe, tell the bailiff or court security when you arrive. Some courthouses can arrange a separate waiting area or other safety steps. If you’re in danger, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
What goes wrong most often, and how do you prevent it?
Most hearing-day problems are about logistics, not law. A few minutes tonight prevents most of them.
| Common problem | How to prevent it |
|---|---|
| Going to the wrong courthouse or courtroom | Confirm the address and room number tonight; some counties have several court buildings |
| Not enough copies of an exhibit | Count your sets before you pack them |
| An exhibit that wasn’t exchanged by a required deadline | Check your local rules for exchange deadlines days ahead, not the night before |
| A witness who doesn’t show up | Call each witness tonight to confirm the time and place |
| Arriving rushed and flustered | Leave with a big buffer and look up parking in advance |
If part of your case feels beyond what you can handle alone, such as complicated evidence questions or a lawyer on the other side, even a short consultation with a licensed attorney where you live can help you understand your options before you walk in. Then go to bed. You’ve done the work, and sleep will do more for you tonight than one more read-through.
